Monday, August 01, 2005

Top Ten Leftist Reactions To The Bolton Nomination

10. ...the planet is doomed, but with an idiot like Bolton at the U.N., the U.S. is going down first. I hope they search him and his staff thouroughly for explosives every day.

9. The US has an October deadline to come clean to the UN about human rights violations. My guess is that Bush is pushing Bolton in now in order to avoid this fall deadline. After all, it's now August and that only gives Bolton two months to destroy the UN before the day of reckoning can arrive.

8. I'm digging into the deep, dark recesses of my mind, trying to figure out what this administration could possibly have up its sleeves next.

What are they planning that sooooo required them to have Bolton in this position? I know Shrub is a pig-headed child that insists on getting his way, and that's likely part of the reason for moving forward with this... but I also know they scheme and plot their destruction well in advance, and look for their opportunity to implement. What's coming?

7. I hope the United Nations refuses to deal with him.

Maybe they'll even turn off his microphone.

Actually, what I would do if I worked at the U.N., would be to ask the translators to make up funny stuff for their little earphones, instead of what Bolton's really saying.

Let him stand at the podium and wonder why the delegation from Zambia is rolling in the aisle with laughter.

Bolton: "We need to reform the way the U.N. does business, so that America's interests are the primary concern."

Translator says: "I smell bad and my pubic hair is as nasty as the hair on my head."

6. I think it was Seymour Hersh who said the nomination of Bolton was crucial to jumpstart the case against Iran. That's why Chimpy is installing him, no matter what.

5. ...as far as Bush and his cronies are concerned (yes, that means you in particular Big Dick), America can go screw itself. This isn't about America's future, it's about Bush's la-la-land fantasy of power in the present.

4. Bush is a lazy, hollow, immature idiot which is why Cheney runs the government.

3. Just another neocon to be frog-marched to jail after the Fitzgerald Grand Jury gets done.

2. Time to educate people about the SLIME and MONSTERS of PIMP LAND and the CREATURES they PIMP FOR. Did NBC say anything about his role in lying to the world about wmd? Did NBC say anything about his bosses refusing to release precise records that the Senate asked him to submit? Of course, we know that he is a target of serious speculation in regard to the law breaking and traitorous acts involving the CIA exposure and all the consequences.

...and our winner:

1. President Bush, says he is exercising his "God-given right to do whatever the hell I want to - I'm the president," in bypassing the Senate and appointing John "Stache" Bolton as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Press Secretary Scott "Tricycle" McClellan said that Bolton is the "bomb," but quickly changed that to "the perfect person for the job."

"He has the experience and has done the kinds of things the president wants in our ambassador to the UN," McClellan said. "For instance, he's been an outspoken critic of the United Nations, he's manipulated intelligence, he's intimidated intelligence analysts to support his hawkish views, he completely screwed up his job securing "loose nukes" in Russia and he's lied to Congress."

UPDATE 10:33 a.m. central: Many thanks to Erick-Woods Erickson for the link; don't miss Erick's latest Rehnquist scoop here, and also don't miss this from Senator Harry Reid:
John Bolton is a person who, in his personal relationship with government employees, has been abominable, mean, unreasonable and bizarre. His not producing the papers we have requested only underscores the importance of why we need those papers. There must be something he's trying to hide.
Well, isn't that nice...

UPDATE 2 11:10 a.m. central: Thanks also to the lovely and talented Michelle Malkin - thanks, Michelle!...

UPDATE 3 1:15 p.m. central: To those who think I haven't been fair here, because these were mostly comments left at blogs: I didn't characterize these comments at all, I posted 'em and let them speak for themselves. What's unfair about that? And thanks for the additional links from the lovely and talented Mary Katherine Ham, the lovely and talented Anchoress, and the - um- well, the talented Jeff Goldstein...

UPDATE 4 1:38 p.m. central: Thanks to Paul Mirengoff of Power Line as well; for more proof that these reactions are typical of progressives rather than isolated, I suggest taking a look at the Huffington Post right now...and see also Ted Kennedy's reaction here...

UPDATE 5 3:15 p.m. central: And a big thank you to the lovely and talented Betsy Newmark, as well!...

UPDATE 6 4:55 p.m. central: And now I get a link from the lovely and talented Lorie Byrd, too...thanks, Lorie!...and thanks to Scott Elliott, as well (sorry about the Daily Blog Roundup, Scott - but I do appreciate it)..

UPDATE 7 11:46 p.m. central: John Hawkins at Conservative Grapevine has my thanks, as well!...

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