Democratic Party to Jesusland: 'We Don't Need Your Stinking Votes'

It was a done deal before today, but it's still remarkable: The Democrats have chosen Howard Dean to be their leader. I would like to associate myself completely with the remarks of Newt Gingrinch: "I think if (Democrats) have a true death wish, he'd be the perfect guy to go with." Dean is a symbol of everything the voters just recently solidly rejected: an anti-war Northeastern liberal, quick to anger, who resorts frequently to conspiracy theories and hyperbole and used the touching tale of a bike path to show the depth of his faith.

This is good news indeed for the Republicans, akin to giving us a nice head start on all upcoming elections. How do I know this is the same Howard Dean that, along his supporters, scared the hell out of normal, decent folks in Iowa? He said the magic word:

"...there is something that this administration and the Republican Party are very afraid of -- it is that we may actually begin fighting for what we believe: fiscally responsible, socially progressive values for which Democrats have always stood and fought."

'Progressive' - the very word has come to conjure up images of smelly, foul-mouthed trust fund babies engaging in rampant vandalism in the streets of Seattle, Paris, and anywhere else that responsible adults might choose to meet to discuss important issues such as trade and security.

In truth, the Democratic Party has reached the point of no return: the 'progressive' infestation has wormed its way into every crevice of the once-grand institution. If the Democrats are really interested in a return to power, here' s some free advice. Jettison the Michael Moores, Howard Deans, Barbra Streisands, and the like; let them rename the Democratic Party with what is has become: "The Progressive Party". The rest of you, the ones with sense, the ones that still love America, the ones that don't believe that abortion on demand is the most sacrosanct right of all, why not ditch that donkey and come ride the elephant for a while? We've got a big enough tent for you, and think how good it will feel to win some elections for a change...