Sunday, May 08, 2005
My Beagle Attempts Investigative Reporting Through Google
I'm tired of waiting for the clowns in Washington to okay this story, so I'm plowing ahead; this is potentially explosive stuff, so I hope you're sitting down.
Everyone loves a beagle; from Snoopy to, well, me, we've long been man's best friend. It has come to my attention, however, that some people, some very famous people, love beagles - TO EAT!!!
As you can see through my exclusive link here to somebody else's web page, the dastardly Michael Klein has styled himself the 'beagle boy to the stars', and has served my kinfolk to, among, others, the lovely Brooke Shields, the lovely Sharon Stone, the lovely Walt Frazier, and the even lovelier Bill Murray. I'm outraged, outraged that this is going on, and as soon as I figure out how to get to New York City, or even where it is, I intend to visit this so-called 'beagle boy', and poop on his floor.
[Mark - that's it? I've been hyping this investigation for three weeks, and that's all you had?]
Well, it's very difficult for dogs to use computers, so it took a while. I don't have opposable thumbs, you know...
[Mark - You know, your whole premise is wrong. He's the bagle boy to the stars - bagle. B-a-g-l-e. Bagle boy.]
Did I mention dogs can't spell very well, either?
Until next time, folks...and remember, always be a best friend to man's best friend.
UPDATE 3:54 p.m. - ha, ha! The beagle gets the last laugh. Mark, you spelled 'bagel' wrong, too! That's bagel. B-a-g-e-l. Never mess with a dog ([Clint, you got me! - Mark])...