Form SF-180: Kerry Responds

Statement by Senator John Forbes Kerry, Massachusetts

For Immediate Release

My friends, I am under attack by a lynch mob of salivating morons who would rather discuss whether or not I have signed Form SF-180 than the important issues facing us today. My critics ask why I have not signed the form, as if it were that simple, as if I could simply pick up a pen and sign my name. This unilateral approach is exactly what led to such tragedies as Mariah Carey�s career. I believe there is a better way.

I have a plan that addresses not only my Form SF-180, but also the Form SF-180s of all Americans. If my plan is enacted, the day will come when we no longer are two Americas, one with the appropriate resources to ensure children have adequate Form SF-180 skills, and the other lacking in Form SF-180s at all.

If I, a wealthy, privileged, French-speaking, aristocratic, handsome Senator married to a ketchup heiress, am unable to sign a Form SF-180 in 100 days, what chance is there for that disadvantaged youth, raised by a single mother, worrying about enough to eat? Is that young man even aware of the Form SF-180? We can do better.

So, my fellow Americans, ask not whether Senator John F. Kerry has signed his Form SF-180, but rather, what Form SF-180 can do for that disadvantaged youth. Thank you, and God Bless America!

UPDATE 9:36 a.m. - thanks to the lovely and talented Michelle Malkin for the link, and to any new readers, you might also enjoy this piece of SF-180 inspired satire...

UPDATE 10:53 a.m. - hurray! PoliPundit linked as well - many thanks (remember, PoliPundit is the guy to thank for the counter at the top of the page - add one to your site if you haven't already)...