Note To Helen Thomas: Get Bent!

I think I smell a Weekly Jackass in your future, Helen! In today's now-routine Rove-dominated press briefing, in which a group of highly paid professional journalists ask the same question 50 different ways in a ridiculous game of 'Gotcha!', the focus was on the 'new' position Bush took that is exactly the same as the position he took 2 years ago. In the midst of all the fun, here's the ancient, petrified Helen Thomas:

Q What is his problem? Two years, and he can't call Rove in and find out what the hell is going on? I mean, why is it so difficult to find out the facts? It costs thousands, millions of dollars, two years, it tied up how many lawyers? All he's got to do is call him in.

Umm, no, Helen, that's not the way it works. First of all, there is a special prosecutor at work, mainly to satisfy hacks like yourself. Secondly, you wouldn't believe anything Bush said about the conversation to begin with. Third, you've been a journalist for, what, 97 years? And you still haven't learned how to ask a decent question? What is your problem? Just what the hell is going on? Oh, and Helen...how many lawyers did Clinton tie up with his grand jury perjury, and ridiculous 'depends what the meaning of 'is' is' garbage? Where were you then? Hibernating?...

...Ahh, that felt good...

UPDATE 9:36 p.m. central: Welcome to all you Fatwa Festivalgoers...