Weekly Jackass Number Thirty-Six: Frank Rich

Has anyone ever seen Frank Rich and Paul Begala in the same room? Seriously...because Rich might as well have 'DNC hack' stamped on his forehead. Rich's subject this week, predictably, is the Plame scandal, but he has nothing to add (equally predictably), so he does his usual routine of slinging out everything but the kitchen sink before he reaches the conclusion that almost all of his columns reach - I don't like George Bush, and I don't support the Iraq War:

The real crime here remains the sending of American men and women to Iraq on fictitious grounds. Without it, there wouldn't have been a third-rate smear campaign against an obscure diplomat, a bungled cover-up and a scandal that - like the war itself - has no exit strategy that will not inflict pain.

Well, Frank, some of us aren't looking for an exit strategy from the war, but rather victory. That aside, it's truly astonishing how many completely oddball accusations Frank manages to cram into a single column. First, the accusation that Bush didn't nominate Alberto Gonzales because of his ties(????) to the Plame scandal (an accusation that Rich literally provides not a shred of evidence for). Then, a smear job on John Ashcroft's integrity, right out of the blue and apropos of nothing.

Most amusing of all, though, is Rich's attempt to paint Republicans as the party that attempts to use sexual orientation against its opponents, this from a partisan cheerleader for the party that (1) made a laughingstock of themselves with obsession over Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, (2) attempted to 'out' RNC chairman Ken Mehlman on the overwhelming basis that he's in his thirties and single, and (3) just this week engaged in speculation that the toddler son of John Roberts is gay (I'm not joking) because of his antics at the press conference announcing the nomination of Roberts.

Rich isn't finished, though, throwing in 'Mission Accomplished', missing WMDs, the 'bring 'em on' comment...Rich is forever trying in vain to stitch together some 'narrative' from his disparate threads, but he never really succeeds. I guess that's why he's been doing rewrites of the same column for 2 years now; and that's why this Weekly Jackass piece focuses on a single column of Rich's; they're all interchangable, really. Indeed, there are only two Frank Rich themes: opposition to George Bush and fake news.

But hey, keep on trying, Frank...someday something coherent might escape from your keyboard. After all, you know what they say about all those monkeys in a room with typewriters...meantime, enjoy your award, God knows it's well-earned...

UPDATE 07/24/05 8:04 p.m. central: Thanks to the great Erick-Woods Erickson, another of the Red State mainstays, as well as an excellent blogger at his own place, for the link...

UPDATE 07/25/05 9:56 a.m. central: Thanks also to Jon Henke, of the always interesting Neolibertarian Network, for the link...